The Lutherans Sterben Aus (Die Out) - Reposted

Reposted from David Housholder's Journal...........something to think about?

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September 1, 2010 in Lutheran | Tags: elca, Lutheran, methodist, episcopal, Church, evangelism, demographics, LCMS, Baptist, Fertility, Aging |

One of the oddest ideas Lutherans have is, that if only their theology were better, people would flock to hear them. We have a left leaning Lutheran denomination (the ELCA) and a right leaning one (the LCMS), both of which are heading down the same demographic water slide.

The above chart spells unmitigated disaster. And it’s a few years old. It’s gotten much worse since it was first printed.

I’m a theological conservative with no illusions that more conservatism would stem this tide. Our big problems are demographic.

The gay issue in the ELCA churchwide assembly of 2009 will be seen as a blip, historically, compared to the real crises:

1) Lutherans don’t have enough babies. We seem to see them as a liability. Ironic that we did backflips, inducing great trauma to the ELCA, to include the LGBT group (on their terms) which has the lowest fertility rate on earth. It’s like we’re trying to form a no-baby union.

2) Lutherans don’t retain enough of the babies they have.

3) Lutherans have no clue how to do evangelism which leads to large-scale adult conversion and baptism. Some even have an allergy against doing it.

4) Many of our congregations are led by informal juntas of empty nesters and retired people which sabotage every step taken to try to create a young-adult-friendly environment. The trauma many of our missional pastors carry is not unlike that of soldiers returning from Iraq. PTSD is rampant among the younger half of our roster (which is tiny–the average ELCA pastor is 59 and aging). It’s not the pagans who beat on them, it’s their own church members.

5) Lutherans do not do well in urban areas where they have had many churches (big cities like LA, Chicago, St. Louis, etc.) when those zip codes diversify ethnically. In general, we’d literally rather die than reach the new immigrant residents.

6) Our denominational corporate structures are clueless about the “opt in” revolution created by social media. They still think they can control their rosters and not have to attract, cultivate, and maintain “opt inners.” Both the lists of congregations and clergy are brittle and fragmenting. Denominations are like Tower Records trying to discipline iTunes. Good luck.

7) Lutherans are clueless about the communications revolution. Most of them spend half of their office hours producing bulletins and newsletters which are among the poorest quality print media in America, and no one reads them. Most or our pastors don’t have blogs or a social media presence of any kind. Many Lutheran churches have no website or screens in the church. And the ones that do have websites usually have a big picture of a Jetsons-Gothic postwar church building with other useless information. And you can never find a picture of the pastor. Anti-branding. Fine, don’t have screens–and while you’re at it, get rid of your parking lot and hope streetcars will come back.

8- We have over-merged. In the mid-50′s, when Lutheranism was thriving, we had a bunch of medium-sized denominations which were very relational (every pastor could go do every national gathering), and each one had clear branding and vibe. There was loyalty to their seminary and mission fields. Now we have two mega corporations which have no branding and spend all of their time fighting, because we are forcing together constituencies that don’t belong together. Former ELC pietists have no business slugging it out for turf within the ELCA with former ULCA East Coast types. No branding, no new customers.

9) Most Lutheran sermons are virtually impossible to understand. I was a Fulbright Scholar and I can’t follow most of them. We tend to preach in the formal register with tertiary reflection; writing a weekly term paper for a professor who isn’t even there. And we are humor-impaired. Our preaching culture is non-existent. We don’t celebrate our (few) preaching stars. Name them. See?

10) We treat our successful churches like pariahs. Reading the Lutheran for years, you’d have no idea which churches they are. Heaven forbid we celebrate any success. Synod staffs, churchwide, and struggling congregations tend to be at least passively aggressive towards any success. And if new church plants innovate? Don’t let them on the roster! Unless they impersonate the other dying congregations.

There will always be Lutherans in America. We are too strong in the Upper Midwest to disappear entirely. But we have squandered our “pole position” which we had after WW2. Instead of contributing to the core of the project that is America, we seem to be choosing to be a quirky footnote to life here.

Follow me on Twitter @RobinwoodChurch

Anyone? =P

Term 1:




Term 2:

Enticed......

ABSTRACT

I was offered a grad position O__o"

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My PI's really quite the interesting character. He's very hard to get a hold of. A month into my co-op term now and I've only actually talked to him four times, yet each one of those chat sessions lasted more than an hour. He would ramble on about his past, rant about UBC, talk a bit more about his past research, and complain more about UBC.

But the real story started yesterday. I was finishing up my lunch with RayRay, and my PI walks into the room for a chat. He asked us both what our plans after a bachelor's were. RayRay was quick to invoke med school just as quickly as I denounced such an idea for myself.

Strangely enough, such strong convictions against med school was enough to land me an offer for a grad position O__o"

He went on talking about the lab and the research in general, the sort of projects available, and ended off mentioning the MD/PhD program so RayRay wouldn't feel too left out. But me and my big mouth......"THAT'S SEVEN YEARS!!!" I hollered.....and my PI burst out laughing. Apparently those were his exactly thoughts when he was deciding where to do his PhD. It was between 7 years in the states and 3.5 in Hong Kong. He finished in 3.5 years at HKU........"Can I do it with you in 3.5?" I asked. Another bout of laughter.

I met with him again today to talk about my presentation during the retreat. As he was going through the outline, he suddenly had the idea that my project would make a great grant proposal. He asked how flexible my co-op schedule is, whether I'd be available to work part time starting September, and if I could write the grant proposal by Sept 15, 2010. Another laugh. "If you start working on it part-time in September, it would give you a very good start for your thesis, then you CAN finish in 3.5 years!"

I'm not entirely sure what he sees in me......afterall, I've only worked a month and talked to him four times......


CONCLUSION

But as with all things, this is probably too good to be true too, because there are plenty of snags already even before we seriously consider it

1) Honours Thesis - why, oh, why must MICB 448 be so anal!! According to my program advisor, my PI for the honours thesis has to be from the department of microbi & immunology, which my current PI is not. But what I do have in my favour is that my project is immunology related, my co-PI is an immunologist (not in the dept tho), and my PI is willing to pull some strings with the head of the Faculty of Medicine (but not sure if that'd amount to anything).....but there's no way I can take on his project AND a second one for my honours thesis (I know BCIT prepared us for insanity, but a full course load with two projects would be a tad bit much......just a tad....)

2) 8-month co-op - no matter how much I don't want to pass up the opportunity, I just simply cannot let myself do my next 8-month co-op with him. I want at least want some industry experience. From my knowledge there's a local RNAi company that maybe I can work with, and maybe it won't be so difficult to convince him that it would come in handy

3) Grant Proposal - SERIOUSLY?!!! He wants ME to write a proposal for $50K (which in all fairness is not too large a sum for research)....He said he was very impressed by the way I wrote my studentship proposal (which was only for a measly $5K), but I have a feeling he's sorely mistaken......there was one which I wrote, and one which my co-PI wrote, and we submitted the latter....he probably read the latter thinking I wrote it....heck! I would be very impressed with myself if I managed to write that too!

But yes......like I said, I don't know what he sees in me (or more accurately, how he's managed to see anything in me at all given I've only talked to him four times).......

Forgotten....and Update!!

Oh wow.......haven't posted anything up in ages.......it's almost like I've forgotten how to write anything of significant length other than lab reports.......

But I guess life is rolling along as it always does now that summer has started (supposedly, not too sure with the constant rain though...)....but I guess a little update of what's been happening in the last little while never hurts.


- BCIT wrapped up without too much of the unexpected, still feel very much guilty all the slacking off being done now that school's out......maybe I'm having stress withdrawls......

- Co-op at the BC Cancer Research Centre....thoughts on that is definitely worth its own post (but my own bccrc.ca email, web page, and photo ID and card key is quite neat =P)

- Finished watching Digimon season 2!!! ^__^ Oh the memories those bring back =P

- Got a new phone, but the touch screen is less sensitive that the one on the iTouch, so it's definitely going to take some getting used to...

- Convocation coming up in June (the DipT will officially mark the end of two very unforgettable years)

- Publication in Insect Molecular Biology coming out soon (maybe in the August issue?)

- Have to start looking for a microbi PI for my honours thesis......

- A Part-time MDiv alongside a PhD is being considered.....but definitely have to ask Regent for more info first.....I wonder if they'd let me start part time before I get my BSc......afterall, I am only doing two courses during my final UBC term......

- Read through some fairly thought-provoking articles on some scientific magazines lately reagrding the life of a researcher...verdict? If it ever boils down to an either-or between ministry or science, the science career goes, wihout a doubt!!

Keep Holding On.........

With six weeks down and eight more to go, it seems a little surreal that the two years at BCIT is finally drawing to a close......at times it just felt like it was never going to end.....BCIT was definitely quite the crucible, and immensely more challenging than I had ever thought possible.....

It was a little unnerving to hear Rob give us a pep talk that Monday morning two weeks ago. Apparently he saw it fit to take the first half hour of class to address our mental health. He noticed that our mental resolve completely broke down during the last few weeks of the previous term, and despite having it perked up a little after the break, he warned us, interestingly enough, to not let our emotions get in the way. He told us that the worst time to contemplate life is during finals season, and we need to treat this entire term as an extended finals season in order to pull through.

We are at risk of becoming suicidal.

Myra had a different take on the matter. Once we pull through, nothing we ever do in life will be this difficult again.....Boy do I hope she's right......

But at the moment, Rob's advice seems a little more pertinent. There are definitely many things worthy to ponder and sort out, but emotions must be put aside for now. The emptiness must be ignored and the pain must be quenched. Maybe once i set foot into the BC Cancer Research Centre in May, working on a fusion project between immunology and cancer biology, I will have the opportunity to recover some of the things I've decided to throw out and patch up some holes I've let eat away this term

Until then, the Olympic non-break will consist of
- Chem Lab Report
- Biochem Lab Report
- English Research Proposal
- English Discussion Essay
- Micro Lab Summary
- Genetics Lab Assignment
- studying for midterms x4 (ManReg, Biochem, Micro, Genetics......all big ones too, except ManReg.....)

My first purchase this summer will be a new desktop. The one I use now is 6 years old and long overdue for a replacement. A second big-ticket (relatively) item will also need to be purchased. And if there's money extra I will also get myself a MacBook =P

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Keep holding on......'cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through............

Odd Odd Day........

Today is definitely one of those very odd days.....it's like nothing happens as expected and yet oddly enough nothing seemed to actually go wrong.......

It all started with Rob and his pushing back class for an hour, thinking the room is unoccupied after our normal class period. And so we were all in the room for a 10:30am start, only to have a second class walk into the same room, rescuing us from the clutches of having to sit through an hour of regulatory standards.

With the extra hour at our disposal, we decided to head to the library to figure out our restriction maps, as none of us have remembered to do it and we needed to know what restriction enzyme to use for genetics lab. But halfway through, we were notified that the first-years were done with the lab, and so we all run back to the lab to start micro, as the protocol indicates a grand total of 3 hours of incubation time during our three-hour lab period (which thankfully was shortened to 2.....)

and speaking of labs, we needed to do genetics lab but genetics lab is actually on the next day......we are all sadly used to the mind-numbingly overlapping labs......do micro during biochem, do genetics during micro, and come into the lab on friday for micro and genetics despite there not being a scheduled lab period........anyways, i digress.

During micro, I find out that someone from the program (Raymond) had an interview with the same person right after my interview, which I totally did not expect and was quite surprised about (maybe even a little unsettled)......but what was even stranger was that the person I was supposed to interview was not there!! She was actually not in her office, and after some running around by an office staff she was still nowhere to be seen XD........so another PI saw me instead, which I must say worked out just as well =P

but yah......too many plot twists for one day, that's for sure......

Year-end Epiphany

Maybe I've phrased the question I've been asking myself lately wrong.....Maybe instead of asking myself what I want to do with my life, the better question would be to ask what I have the courage to do with my life.......the whole dilemma between an MDiv and a PhD may really just rest on what I have the courage to pursue.

The prospect for both these options are arguably equally bleak. On the one hand, with the PhD, I'd have to find a supervisor, I'd have to think of a project that I even remotely care about, and then even after getting the degree, there's the issue of post-doc and what to do after. On the other hand, with the MDiv, there's the issue of where I'm going to procure the money for that, where to do my vicarage, whether I care enough to stay Lutheran, which church to go to after.......

But it's the MDiv option that I don't know if i have the courage to pursue. Can I bear the disappointment of all those (which includes myself) who think I'll be wasting my potential in academia? Can I bear the ridicule of all those who think I won't be able to do a good job? (It's not like we have a great example to look towards) Can I bear the scorn of all those who think I'm ignoring my duty to provide for my future family and putting my future children at a disadvantage by choosing a path that is not financially stable? Will doing an MDiv be truly worth standing up to all of this?

And yet, doing a PhD seems to be the more logical option. I mean, even if i absolutely detest it, switching to an MDiv afterwards is so much easier than switching from an MDiv to a PhD, especially one in science......and i just have this gut feeling that if I don't do my PhD now, I'll never get around to doing it.....

I suppose I can do both, but I also don't want to die in the process........three terms of excessive work, with the four and final one starting in 3 days, has made me learn the hard way to stay away from insane workloads whenever possible...............

Damage Assessment

So, after a week of actively denying anything wrong with my life, it's finally time to sit down and see what sort of hell three cumulative terms of BCIT have wrecked........

Preliminary Assessment: Beyond Repair

The first thing that I've come to realize was just how tightly I've wound myself. Went back to DT the other day, and asides from the rather amusing comment from Mr. Wang about how I have to get a PhD from Harvard or I risk losing Jennifer to *insert Mr. Wang accent* "another boy", conversations with Ms. Denchfield and Miss Eisner was rather intriguing. I was telling them how I plan to find a co-op placement before term started again but wasn't having much luck, and their common response was not to worry about it and just take a break......if only it was that easy......

The other odd thing is that for some reason, the first part of 21 Guns just wouldn't get out of my head, and yet, oddly enough it's true......I feel like I'm in ruins, and even all the Sunday school answers I have in my head, that I can tell myself over and over again, just doesn't answer anything......it feels like I've lost so much this term.....if you only peel off that thin layer on the surface - the grades, the days in school, the weekends at church - there's nothing left underneath.....hopes and ambitions, love and happiness, meaning and purpose.......it's all been devoured, and the only thing left to do is either to rebuild it, or to layer on more disguises to hide the true emptiness.........the latter seems like the easier option.....

and you would think, at a time like this, church would be the place to turn to......but something seems to have happened, a turn for the worse i would say......maybe it's just me, but fellowship these days just feels like a group project gone horribly wrong......it's like some unending nightmare, where to every person you turn to there is always some church work to talk about.....since everyone is entitled to their opinions, I too will risk eternal damnation and voice mine......maybe, just maybe, in our haste to perform, in our haste to be effective and in our haste to make something of this church, we have forgotten what it means to be a family in Christ, or rather, more accurately, we never knew it or never bothered to show it in the first place, and so now we just find ourselves struggling to keep our balance on our shaky foundation as we try to reach out.........but anyways, i'll shut up now.........church is good, doo dee doo~~~~~~


Final Assessment: Utterly Hopeless

Recommended Course of Action: Resistance is futile. Just dig a hole, brace yourself for term 4, and prepare to be thoroughly screwed over. With any luck you just might crawl out the other end with a missing limb or two, no promises though......

And the old man wanted a story.....

As we were lounging around the hall, banging our heads on every possible locker praying that we would be released from Rob's egg-crushing grip, Keith walks out of the office, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Not letting the opportunity slide, we quickly bombarded him with questions about our up-coming plants report. What exactly does he want?

"A story," says the old man. "A story from beginning to end."

So I saw a need to rethink how my spruce report should go. Obviously the traditional lab report, with introduction, methods, results, and discussion, just simply was not much of a narrative. I am now contemplating writing a novel, with the spruce embryo as the protagonist. The story will detail the different struggles the spruce seed matures, from the abandonment of childhood innocence, to the trauma of teenage angst, to the development of adult sophistication. What a drama it will be!

~

It was 8:30am on a Thursday morning. Connie rubbed her eyes as she tried to recall the past few days of her existance. It was all a blur. She faintly recalled coming to consciousness surrounded by other embryo seeds, only to be ruthlessly submerged into some foul liquid reeking of chlorine.

She looked around. Her fellow spruce seeds were still laying unconscious in the confines of a microfuge tube. What shall happen to me, she wonders. Afterall, Connie has never been a spruce seed before, and have no idea what to expect.

Suddenly, a bright light shone on her and she felt herself lifted gently into the light. All of sudden she was surrounded by figures too large to fully perceive, yet the outside world was such a blur!

~

OK......i should stop.......A proper lab report awaits to be written........If for some reason an extra six hours budded off each day of this week then I shall complete this narrative and attach it as an appendix for Keith.........In the meantime, back to spruce somatic embryogenesis.....embryo suspensor mass initiation and maturation.......joy........

Two weeks to go, Half a life left

Something just seems terribly wrong with this term.......for the longest time, it felt like term never really started, and then before you know it, it's slamming to an end........just Friday we were commenting how it feels like it should be the middle of October

But the fact that term is about to end has finally settled in, with a mild sense of panic hanging in the air.......not a panic about grades, but more a panic of whether 24 hours a day is actually going to be enough during the last week of classes

Nov 30 (Mon)
- Chem Lab Report

Dec 1 (Tues)
- Chem Assignment
- Ethics Final

Dec 2 (Wed)
- Biochem Lab Assignment x 2
- Pharma Final

Dec 3 (Thurs)
- maybe, just maybe.......crossing my fingers.....there won't be classes.....PLEEEEEEASE.....

Dec 4 (Fri)
- Process Formal Lab Report
- Plants Formal Group Lab Report x 4
- Plants Final

Dec 7 (Mon)
- Biochem Final

Dec 8 (Tues)
- Chem Final

Dec 9 (Wed)
- Process Final

Dec 10 (Thurs)
- Genetics Final

But on brighter news, Starfield concert this Saturday!!! (I'm excited coz I missed their last one =P)......AND!! I bought myself a 64GB iTouch!!!! =P.......yes, it's my Christmas and birthday present for myself..........although it was quite expensive......=__="...........very expensive actually......i'm still rather appalled by the amount of money i threw into that thing.........

Biotechnology is Great!

Our ethics prof is going to be away on the 27th, so she asked us to keep track of Halloween stories to tell her. My story idea was simple. The classroom would be deathly empty on the 3rd, because we all died on the night of the 29th due to a Rob overload.

On a brighter note, Keith spent the morning talking about how we were having trouble advertising and recruiting people into the program. Apparently our reputation as a program is that it's near impossible to get in and that there is a ridiculous crap-load of work.......well, i wonder why?..............Keith did mention that when we do happen to blog about the program we should refrain from complaining and shine a better light on it, so I shall do my part

*looks down at the list for the next two weeks*

This will be a breeze!~~~~insane amount of work? Unheard of and a totally foreign concept!

*downs a bottle of ethidium bromide*

~

Next two week at a glance:

Monday Oct 26
- Chem Lab
- Chem Lab Report x2

Tuesday Oct 27
- Biochem Midterm
- Ethics Quiz

Wednesday Oct 28
- Biochem Lab w/ Genetics Lab Part 1
- Biochem Formal Lab Report
- English Bible Study

Thursday Oct 29
- Plants Lab w/ Genetics Lab Part 2
- Genetics Lab Part 3

Friday Oct 30
- Pharma Midterm
- Process Lab
- Process Formal Lab Report w/ Process Assignment #3
- TCF Bible Study

Saturday Oct 31
- S-club pumpkin carving w/ Halloween Party and Trick-or-treat

Sunday Nov 1
- Teaching Sunday School
- Evening Service Meeting

Monday Nov 2
- Chem Lab
- Chem Lab Report
- Dentist Appointment

Tuesday Nov 3
- Plants Midterm
- Ethics Group Assignment #2

Wednesday Nov 4
- Biochem Lab
- Award Ceremoney?

Thursday Nov 5
- Plants Lab
- Genetics Lab

Friday Nov 6
- Process Midterm
- Process Lab

I have an eerie feeling I forgot something on that list. I did stop using my agenda, after all........

Asian Parents.....joy....

Well, what do Asian parents care about the most? Money, yes.....school, yes......now mix the two together and it's no surprise that the latest magazine from the Chinese papers is featuring some top four (Chinese, surprise surprise) students entering university this year......among the interviews and information, there lists not only their grades but also the scholarships they managed to get their hands on.

It's pure joy to have Asian parents......you might have thought that I, of all people, would have been immune to all of this.......but sadly that's not the case........

Like honestly, is it not enough that I'm not using a penny of your money for my university tuition? Does it really matter that those kids, with their faces plastered all over the magazine, got $15,000 in scholarship for their first year and I came a horrifically shameful $7,000 short?.....what's even worse is that first year was ages ago.......even if i wanted and even if i tried i can't go back.....

I just can't help but feel a little sorry for those kids.......not only are they now pointed to by all the Asian parents in town, they are now hated by every single Asian kid in town (with the exception of Jenn, as she would like pointed out).........but imagine, to have your worth as a person and as an individual evaluated based on your academic success and the sum of scholarship money you amassed.....and to have your value assessed based on how much advice you can give for parents who want their kids to walk down the same path of academic greatness (although their definition is rather short-sighted and narrow-minded.....whereas i'm thinking academic greatness is making some sort of immense breakthrough in research, the Asian equivalent is entering Harvard with a 102% average)......

I guess i just dread seeing those kind of articles here.......there is just something fundamentally wrong......I mean, the Hong Kong government actually run ads on television for parents (and kids to a lesser extent) with the slogan that learning is not about grades (which of course no one gives a crap about).......pathological? very much so......

FML, or PTL (Praise the Lord), according to Jenn

Amidst flailing arms and protesting pokes from Jenn, I'll brave the challenges and type this up.......

After plants class with the program head this morning, the brief after-class discussion led him to tell us of a new headache he has. Apparently, it came to his attention that our program has more credit hours than allowed by the government for an undergraduate program (even after taking honours into account). We were told that he has to now somehow cut some courses from the program to make it all work. We were very eager to give suggestions, such as scrapping ethics, or the critical writing course for next term. When someone mentioned lab safety (and amidst our laughter), Keith told us that's not even a course that is recognized by UBC, so cutting it won't do anything.............that's when the thought struck me......

So, I'm in a program that not only makes us take more credits than allowed by the government, some of the courses we do take don't even count towards that. FML.

On Death Row.......

Had the first overtime lab of the term today.........and we were promised man, many more to come.........definitely not very thrilled......

The term started (coming to think of it, only last week) with us concluding we'd be hating Fridays. Monday rolls around and we decided that we really won't be liking Mondays very much either. Once Tuesday came along, we decided, you know what, screw this, we're going to be hating the entire term. And the thinking was reinforced today during biochem lab. As we were taking time out of our biochem lab to do parts of our genetics lab, Rob comes in to tell us we have our process lab handouts ready..........it's just going to be one, unending nightmare of labs.....

There has definitely been a significant shift in thinking for the labs. Whereas last term was "hurry up and finish and burst out the door", this term definitely has a tone of resignation to it........."if we are going to be trapped in here until we rot, might as well take our sweet time". Where half an hour on top of a 2-hour lab is a lot, one hour more to a 7-hour lab doesn't sound very unpleasant anymore

Last term it took until April to get us collectively to the suicide mood, this term, mass suicide has already been brought up one week in..........twice actually, if you count a discussion about Lemmings........

50 years.....and counting?

Seeing as Vince blogged about the Killarney Park 50th Anniversary, I shall do so too (or well, at least that's what I think he wrote about XD......I will admit that I was slightly confused =P)

Just a little background info, Killarney Park is the congregation that shares our building, or more correctly speaking, we share theirs. Walking into church this morning I was surprised to see all the decorations up, with board after board of old photos from the ages past.......and i just remembered I was in a state of shock......how did it come to this?......how does a congregation of way over 200, which once had hundreds in their Sunday school, multiple services on Sunday morning just coz people couldn't fit......how did a congregation like that dwindle to a mere 20 people after 50 years?

But even more importantly, what will happen at our own 50th anniversary next year. True we might be doing better number-wise, but are we truly any better? I can't help but think it's time our congregation had a mid-life crisis.....not in the sense that we should buy ourselves a Porsche or some plot of land up in the interior.....but it's time someone pointed out how dangerously similar we are to the church of Laodicea we are - lukewarm (Revelations 3:14-22).....I just can't shake this feeling, that, as a congregation, everything is half-hearted at best......that's why I was always adamant about our 50th Anniversary....I just don't see a point......true, it would be a great cause for celebration for whoever had a hand in founding this congregation, but what about for the ones in this congregation now? That we have been great a sitting on our hands and warming the pews? Wake up, people!

It has been a while since I've heard a good sermon, but the one for the KPLC 50th year was definitely a refreshingly good one (not spectacular, but very decent)......and one line, one line just stuck......and despite this line was being directed to the church, it just repeated itself over and over again in my head......

......it's not about being famous, it's about being faithful.....

and i just can't help but think........do I truly want to run the risk that, at my own 50th anniversary, I'm going to look back at my life and regret how I've spent it?

Out of the frying-pan into the fire

So, last day of co-op today! =P........it was rather uneventful and not very dramatic........the lab was oddly empty today, with only 5 other people in the two rooms that we occupy, which normally houses around 12.......

but yes, these past four months have definitely been interesting.......not quite sure how to describe what has happened (both in and out of the lab)........i guess really the only adequate description of such an experience is that I found myself sailing across the ocean and all of a sudden I realized I no longer knew where I was going........the sky started to cloud over and waves started to thrash....rain started pouring and lightning filled the sky.......and so I found myself thinking that if i sailed just a little further I'll see land..........

So after roughing it past four month's of co-op, and realizing I'm more lost than ever, new concerns have made figuring out where I'm headed a trivial matter......I have been blind-sided by tropical storm BCIT. With its seven courses and five labs and 32 hours of classes a week, it's bound to wreck havoc and cause major system failures.....yet, even as we speak and the gale force winds start to pick up, storm-proofing will have to wait.........the co-op paper needs to be written and the questionnaire requires completion.........

hai.........shoot me.........

Drunk at the Lab

The story goes that someone at the lab got their paper accepted, and so we had a little celebration before lunch with some bee-shaped cookies and some honey whiskey (or more appropriately, honey diluted with whiskey)


Now I've never had anything this strong ever before.....so i was rather startled by how repugnant it smelled (yes, I'm definitely no fan of alcohol).....but of course, out of politeness I had to finish the cup I was given......by the time I was finished everything kinda tilted to the right and walking in a straight line presented a bit of a challenge XD.......and i also developed a headache for the rest of the afternoon.........good thing i didnt have anything intensive to do, just more bacterial plating

38th Annual Summer Reading Session for Church Choir

Now this was definitely a very different experience.......having had the chance to attend a couple of different conferences (both for church and for academia), I was very much caught off guard by this one......being a fish out of water doesn't quite encompass the inadequateness of my talents for an even such as this.......

I was thinking this would just be similar to any of the other conferences I've attended. There'd be lecturers and powerpoint presentations as they go over the finer details of leading a church choir and singing with the right voices.....and so i didnt think much of the fact that while most of the people at the event were choir directors, I was given the noble title of "selector of a fun Christmas tune"......until I was handed the package of 60+ choral pieces at the registration desk


I sat down and sifted through all the sheet music, finding only an order form attached.....interesting, i thought......no program? no topics of focus?......it was then that i realized we were sitting in front of curtained stage.....maybe, i thought, there would be a choir that would sing all of this for us, and so that's why i am here to pick one that i like

It was not until the "clinician", as they called him, stepped up that I realized how wrong I was.....the reason of why this was a "reading" session finally dawned on me.......as we flipped open the first piece of our stack and he signaled the piano to begin, I realized that WE were the ones to sing through all of this

This arrangement posed several problems. First of all, given that my professional piano career ended more than three years ago, my sight reading abilities were virtually nonexistent. Even then, I have never learnt to read voice. I would follow along the melody and completely miss all the words, or follow the words and have no clue what to sing it to. Secondly, singing aws definitely not my strength, especially not SATB. The accompanist would play the intro, and everyone would automatically know what to sing and what pitch to sing in, and i'm just left standing there wondering how in the world do they do that and frantically trying to pick up the right pitch. The of course, as if to make matters worse, my voice falls between the tenor and the bass. The tenor had notes that were too high for me to reach (I have trouble singing higher than a D4), and the bass was at times too low for me to accurately hear what I was singing.

In short, the only thing that I could sing were segments that were in slow quarter notes without huge leaps or odd accidentals. So the majority of the time was spent following along and listening to other, more accomplished vocalists do the work =P True, there were some trickier pieces that we slaughtered (especially the couple following lunch), but generally it was very well done. And I do admire them for being able to sing well on the spot like that, wish I could have done the same.......

But hey, I'm not complaining. At least it's a very different break from the regularities of work =P (and imagine if an scientific conference was like this XD "Ok everyone, this is my experiment, let's do it all together!")

PS: Saw Ms MacCulloch there, but then she never taught me and I doubt she knows me, so I didn't bother to say hi

PhD or MDiv?....or both.....at the same time?!

Well, that debate has definitely been one that has gone on in my head for quite a while. Seeing as my career as an undergraduate student is bound to come to an end in the foreseeable future, my mind has been constantly at work trying to decide what to do with my life after I get my BSc.....provided I haven't killed myself in the process

While entering the work force is definitely an option, a better option would be to pursue some sort of graduate degree........which one?

Looking at the scientific spectrum of things, I can do a PhD in medical genetics. It sounds interesting enough, but the most alluring reason is because my Honours BSc allows me to skip MSc should I be able to maintain an 80%+ average for my last two years as well as the first 12 credits of graduate courses........Dr. Stephen Choi does have a certain ring to it.....

On the less scientific side of things, I can do an MDiv and pursue a career in ministry......that is also a four-year program (arguably it can be three)......that of course, leads me to become Pastor, or Rev. Stephen Choi

Now, for the longest time I've been debating between the two.....coz I really couldn't see myself spending 12 consecutive years in school to get both.....and so I've been asking myself if I'd be willing to give up one for the other. On the one hand, a PhD would theoretically give me the financial security to be able to become a volunteer/part-time pastor/churhcworker, freeing me from having to depend on a congregation to feed me (and it would also put me on the same level as my wife/doctor-to-be......provided all goes as plans). Yet on the other hand, would I be willing to spend so much of my life doing something that, deep down inside, I really don't care very much about? I mean, if ministry is the ultimate goal, then what am I doing wasting my time with a PhD? Yet, would straying from the realm of academia and scientific research be putting God's gift of brains to waste?

But some reason I stumbled on a third options today........studying part-time at Regent while doing a PhD! Apparently Regent offers online courses, at around 10 of them matches up with the requirements for an MDiv, which I would assume is the same as the first year of studies.....so if i take enough courses online to cover that and maybe all my electives, then I might be able to get an MDiv after my PhD in two years rather than four.......Rev. Dr. Stephen Choi at the age of 28.....doesn't sound too shabby!

But so are the dreams, we'll see what reality has to say........

RAWR!!

yes, there really isn't any other way to express how I feel right now......I just feel sorely deceived, thinking summer would be a nice break from school, and I'd finally be able to enjoy some stress-free time with all the hours I have not thinking of writing a paper or studying for a midterm.......but now that we are stepping into August and summer is quickly coming to a close, I realize how the phrase "taking a break" has never been part of my dictionary

I don't even know how I got landed in this position. I seemed to be fluctuating between extremes....when two months ago i would be sitting at my desk in the lab staring at the screen wishing there was something more productive to do, and all the while wishing going on facebook and youtube would be an appropriate activity on the lab computer, I know spend all my hours in the lab on my feet doing something or another....

Normally a co-op student would be responsible for half a project....We'd work under some research person and help them in their endeavour for discovery.....but for some reason I got landed one whole project plus two half ones.......My original task was just to work on honeybee cell immortalization, but then now, on top of that, I also have to do a honeybee cell proteomics project as well as an american foul brood bacterial assay.......stress definitely is my bestest buddy....

and to escalate matters, I was told by my PI that I'm probably going to get published......under any normal circumstances I would have been thrilled.....first co-op job and I'll get published? it's definitely one step closer to my PhD option, where being a co-author of a paper is a preferred attribute......but honestly, at this point in time it just translates to more work for me.......and so with my weeknights and weekends practically filled with church stuff, I now feel more overworked than ever..........

I am now setting my eyes on winter break.......

PS: sooo excited, i realized our program added new options to our courses back at UBC!! =P.....we no longer have to take a ridiculous number of microbi courses =P......medical genetics, plant biochemistry, developmental neurology =P...........too bad I only need 3 courses out of the 14....they all sound so cool! =P